What are you lookin at?

Here I am on day two of this supposed dark tour.

Day one was cancelled due to lack of crowd.

You think that people want something and then you give it to them and you wonder if they really did want it in the first place. This is the common theme to my standup these days as you will see.

I worked pretty hard getting some more nasty stuff for the show. I did not want all the material to be dirty. I think that the most important thing in a show of this kind is not to get laughs all the time but to try something different.

I cannot be a comic that gets a laugh at every thing I say. I want moments that are more reflective. That is the problem I had at Just For Laughs in the end. I fought for something only I believed in and then tried to change it for the good of the show and it failed. I recently found out that my tv set I filmed at Just for Laughs will not be televised and it was a bummer for a few reasons.

The main one was I never wanted to do the tv show in the first place. I knew that I am not the kind of comic that they want for their tv show. No hard feelings in saying that. When they offered me the show it was a package deal tied in with the nasty show. That was the show I wanted.....to have a crowd that came for what I do best. So when they offered it I accepted the gig cause I figured that is the price you pay to do what you want to do. I could tone it down enough I thought. Then in the end all that work on the cleaner set is not going to air as a full gala set.

The second reason is because it was the last thing for Just For Laughs. Everything else in the two weeks got fucked up. I taped a number of episodes of a tv show that I was cut from in the end. I shot a bunch of documentary footage that will never see the light of day. It really seems like it was a lot of work for little reward. Hey they still paid me and they never said that the reason it never aired was because of me. That is show biz sometimes you can do great work but it still cannot air for other reasons.

I was also asked to drop bits on the nasty show which i was uncomfortable with. They felt three bits were not to the crowds liking. Even though these were bits I did in my showcase set for the nasty show. I know they were just trying to get the best show they could that the audience would like and that is there job, but at the same time I know what i am good at.

Not everything I say is going to be a 10 out of 10 slam bam laugh riot. Not everything Bobby Slayton said killed..not everything Doug stanhope or Otto & George said killed...not everything Jim Jeffries said killed. Hey overall "they" killed but not every joke they said was 10 out of 10 and I don't expect that from comedy even as a fan. I just always thought that on a nasty show anything goes and maybe it doesn't.

I guess I was a little disappointed is all. This was the main reason for me to do the fest...and even that got fucked up. After show two when I took those three bits out I just felt like a rape victim at the hospital...can we just get this over with and go home..do you have to swab my cunt.

The nasty show was week one and the gala was week two so as you can see not the best experience. It is a tough bitter pill to swallow. Parts of my gala will air in a show called best of the fest so not all is lost..it just isn't what I thought it was going to be. It is hard for me not to scream and say I was funnier then others at that fest but what will that accomplish really. No one cares...hey I know in four months I won't care either. It just will be a long four months.

The best part of this story is that I spoke to Just For Laughs and cleared the air. They listened to why I was upset and could understand my point of view and accepted that I was dissapointed. Hey they even are going to give me a tape of my gala which they don't have to do. For me I had to make that call cause I have been straight with them from day one and they have been straight with me and I appreciate that. Do I like the outcome of course not but in life someone has to be the receiver of suck.

Even in comedy it is all perspective...from their perspective they gave me a shot and tried to do what was best for the show. From my perspective I tried to be a team player and bob and weave and failed because of it.

What have I learned....you can't change who you are and once you work on something and you have it locked in...don't change your game plan. I am 14 years in and still learning.

I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills'
Till the landslide brought me down