What are you lookin at?

I did it..... I finally did it. I filmed my first sex scene in a show.

A show that is real and not the one that every person films the first time they get a video camera. Afterwards..hours later I realized that there is a ittle bit of myself I will never get back.

I filmed a pilot for showtime called Filthy Gorgeous. I play a john who fucks a prostitute in a seedy hotel. One small scene and that is it but what a scene.

All week they kept calling my agent, wondering if I was going to be alright with showing my ass and my agent knew better then to call me. She knows what I will do (Anything) and what I won't do (nothing). I thought it would just be some shots of the side of my ass covered by sheets no big deal.

Then when I received the script I noticed that it might be a little more. No biggie I have been naked before I thought and this is tv so it can't be that bad. I also looked up the cast and for a split second I thought isabella rossellini played the protitute in the scene. I couldn't believe it....but then after a closer look she played a different role.

Cut to this morning and I arrive on set and notice all that they had me wearing was a robe. There was this little sock thing on the end of the bench and then I realized.

THIS GOES ON MY COCK.

Then we go and block the scene and I find out that we are both going to be naked with just me wearing this little sock and her a small piece that fitts over her....you know.

I rush back to the trailer and frantically try and put this sock on but for some reaosn it kept falling off like it was too big. What was I going to do. I can't just walk up to the female wardrobe staff and say

"Hi this sock it too big for my cock do you have one in a more junior size"

I started to sweat while standing in front of the mirror nervously trying to get this sock to stay on. The sweat was good cause my character was called Sweaty Client but not Sweaty "Tiny Cock" Client. For forty five minutes I keep trying to keep this thing of my cock. As I get it on and mime humping actions into the mirror I watch in horror as the sock slowly slips off.

Finally someone comes and asks if I had ever used one and would I like some tape. Yes please give me tape....lots. So I finally gerri rig some kinda system where my pubes and tape are holding this contraption together. I am ready for the big scene.

We go to the set and have some more small talk with the nice girl I am going to be mime fucking in a few minutes. I ask all the stupid questions like "First time in toronto blahg blah blah" while secretly worrying about a hard on or worse a slip off.

I sit on the bed and she stradles me and away we go. I have to push up with my hips so we both bounce up and down and look like we are doing the Nasty. Take after take, I am worried about this 5 by 5 inch piece of cloth and my sweat wrecking everything. Now when I get worried I always get gas, and so for the last half of the shoot I have to keep everything in. This then causes cramps and that does not help when you are mime fucking the shit out of someone.

So now I have a boner/sock malfunction/gas to worry about when I should be worried about looking like I cum really good inside a prostitute.

We finish and I am wrapped by 11 am. The rest of the day i just spend in this almost suspended animation state. Riding the subway home I keep thinking did I just do that with fifty guys standing and watching.

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So here we are kids...I am coming up to the big tour of nasty.

The first weekend I recorded a show where the crowd did not really know it was going to be a nasty XXX show. For fifty two minutes you can hear me sucking in all it's glory. I am actually on fire when it comes to my delivery. I am hitting all the right moments of the stories and the lack of response does not faze me.

I actually like these kinda shows cause it proves a lot in terms of how much you care what an audience thinks. I did not sell out and do nicer material and I did not stray from my set. They got what they got and that is all.

So I recorded it and might offer it for free on the site or make it avail as a torrent download. Please email me and let me know what you think. Maybe I am just a twisted masochist and like to hear me bomb but others have told me I am funnier when I suck. You decide.

I might even offer it at shows for sale.

My first cd where the crowd somewhat like me: $5
and the one where I suck for $10.

thanks for the emails about my son fuckies