What are you lookin at?

After weeks of shitty shows and bullshit excuses on why they were shitty, two things happened recently that really pushes home the point of the title.

After a few harsh shows I turned up at an open miker and did a free spot on a new five I am doing. Now I don't know why others are still not doing this. They get their best 45 and stop but that forty five to me is only good for a certian amount of time cause eventually you will get sick of it...anyways different rant for that.

So before I did my five there was a guy at the bar who was dressed in army gear. Head to toe and I guess he had just come back from somalia and was getting hammered. He yells at me

"Hey you"

this is never the start of a good conversation for me ..ever

"aren't you that guy on tv...I have seen you many times you are great..what are you doing here"

so i answer him

"I am just here to work on some new stuff'

"No..I mean why are you in canada man..you should be in hollywood...like you have been in some big movies " Blah Blah Blah for the rest

I just simply tell him that I have a child and have been to LA twice and it did not happen for me..this is not the best conversation before a set I have to admit

SO I do the set and it goes well. Small crowd ok response so I thought. The host comes over and says thanks and I am about to leave and she tells me that there was a guy in the audience that was loving the set I did. I just thought it was the same guy i spoke to..but she says that he wanted to come over and say something. Now I know the other guy would be too hammered to have to ask if it was alright to come over.

This young guy comes over and says that he was having a really rough week. A member of his family had died or something horrific..he told me but I feel horrible I don't remember exactly but it was a really bad thing. He just wanted to say that the set really helped him laugh when he didn't feel like laughing

walking back to my car I remembered how quiet it was outside and was snowing and I remembered many moments in my own life I did not feel like making people laugh....for the rest of the car ride home I just remember how quiet it was..no thoughts of how much bullshit had happened...how I sucked in lame town X. I just remembered why I got into this thing in the first place.

The second event was smaller but the same result. I was with my son for the first time in over a week where it was just me and him playing at a kids centre. I have been away a lot recently and it was really nice to just sit and play with playdoe for awhile. Same thing..no bad thoughts..no negativity...just an hour whipping by without a care in the world.

At one point it sounds like I am making it up but he turned to me and said "don't worry dadda..I am here" and for the second time in a week I didn't.