What are you lookin at?

Well here I sit at 3 am on a friday in edmonton rock city.

The weekend of shows in vancouver were not the easiest to swallow that is for sure. Luckily the club is run very well and the staff there were pros.

Lets do it like a time line

Friday 7:30

I am in my room getting ready for the show when from my balcony I hear a noise. I look down at the church that is beside the venue and there are 15 guys pissing on the church. They are all high fiving each other yelling

"hey man we are pissing on a church Yehaw"

Cause if they did not acknowledge to each other what they were doing some would be lost. All i say to myself is

"God I hope they are not coming to the show tonight"

I walk down to the club and who walks in? The group of 15 guys with other friends. I pull the doorman aside and tell him that we should be careful of these guys cause they just pissed on a church. They are not going to respect "table conversation to a minimum and laughter to a maximum". SO they are placed in the corner in case of any problem.

Showtime 8:00 pm

The crowd is crazy and I mean fucking nuts. The staff says they have never seen it this crazy. It is sold out and the MC Jay Brown has to yell for 20 minutes just people to stop yelling out. The group of church pissers take turns going to do blow in the bathroom. They eventually are so hammered they are thrown out.

I was like well that is karma for peeing on Jesus. I am not a pain expert but I think urine stings stigmata. There is never a time that pissing on jesus is good. I mean even if Jesus gets stung by a jelly fish I am sure his dad will take care of it.

The rest of the show is a hammer fight but I get through it. This is the first show people. Early show friday is the nice show. The local alternative paper reviews the show here

http://www.georgiastraight.com/content.cfm?id=17155

Friday 10:30

Now I am getting worried cause the late hsow friday is the worst show of the week and after the first show anything can happen. The show starts and there are two cougars in the front row who won't shut up for the whole show.

By the time I get to the stage they want to fight me with words. SO I go over my arsenal of put downs..many from an early blog in hamilton. But the best was this...I yelled at them

"I bet your kids wish they had down syndrome so they can't figure out how dumb mommy is"

"We don't have kids"

"yeah cause they aborted themselves in the seventies..they came out of your cunt looked at you and said 'if that is my mommy.... hit me in the head with the HAMMER AGAIN'"

then I picked up the mike stand and said

"You make me want to beat you with a stick, but I am sure your man already has"

well then it was all nuts..eventually they were kicked out and of course the crowd loved it.

The rest of the weekend was pretty crazy and so far this weekend in edmonton has been good the last two nights....but you never know when I may go to far.

It has been four years since I did vancouver or edmonton...I am not sure how long it will be before it happens again.